Well, its time. Great friend and TF American Racing car chief Scott has decided he is sick of looking at my car in his barn. I don't blame him. The Caddy is up for sale...or going to the scrap yard May 31st (or before). See below!
http://flint.craigslist.org/cto/3022715025.html.
Friday, May 18, 2012
Sunday, April 29, 2012
Thursday, April 26, 2012
Jasper - Six weeks
For the record...I am tired from all the home improvements...forgot to mention that last time. But...I have always heard "The house is never finished...". And that is very true. I got a few things still to do but nothing pressing. (Minus figuring out what creature is stirring in the chimney).
Jasper is six weeks old now. He is getting a little more of a personality. Nothing Earth shattering. But he looks at you more focused now. He laughs and is beginning to "coo". I try to get him to say "I love you" or "Daddy" but he hasn't got there yet. He is getting stronger, but still has not rolled over yet. He has the leg strength (I think my ribs are bruised from him), but still needs the arm strength.
Today, Jenna and Jasper are stopping by work so we can go together and pick up Great-Grandma Mona from the airport. She will be visiting her brother JD, and of course here to see Jasper. She also has volunteered to watch Jasper on Monday so Jenna and I can celebrate our first wedding anniversary. WooHoo!
Jasper is six weeks old now. He is getting a little more of a personality. Nothing Earth shattering. But he looks at you more focused now. He laughs and is beginning to "coo". I try to get him to say "I love you" or "Daddy" but he hasn't got there yet. He is getting stronger, but still has not rolled over yet. He has the leg strength (I think my ribs are bruised from him), but still needs the arm strength.
Today, Jenna and Jasper are stopping by work so we can go together and pick up Great-Grandma Mona from the airport. She will be visiting her brother JD, and of course here to see Jasper. She also has volunteered to watch Jasper on Monday so Jenna and I can celebrate our first wedding anniversary. WooHoo!
Monday, April 23, 2012
A Fridge is a blessing and Extreme Makeover: Forst Home Edition
It is funny how many blessings there are in life. Its funny how life takes its twists and turns...the areas and times in which you rather not have had happen or want to forget. But going through it all, does make you stronger and makes you appreciate life just that much more. Sometimes its people who setup to the plate from nowhere.
So, how is a fridge a blessing? Simple. We needed one.
Now, it wasn't that the other fridge was bad...but its old, small and no longer matches the kitchen (wait...did I just say that?...JENNA...what have you done to me?!....kidding). Truth is light tan and white doesn't look good. I even know that...LOL. So, it works but an upgrade would be wonderful....especially since almost everything else has been updated in the last 6 months or so...just a sample list.
New hot water heater
Used water softener with new iron filter
New stand alone freezer
New furnace
New laundry room floor
New kitchen floor...well, top layers tore up and refinished hardwood floor underneath
Shelves installed in kitchen closet
Shelves installed in laundry room
Quarter trim installed (you know since I pulled it out when I refinished the house's hardwood floor when I moved in......7 years ago)
Painting
Oh yeah....and Jasper's new room too...that included closet door install and crib build.
Plus...
New used car
And seeming constant maintenance on Jenna's Compass...that whole Michigan winter versus Arizona summer (with a year in Oklahoma) has been a little bit of a shock to its system.
Ok...now back to the fridge. So Nicole, someone I went to Clarkston schools with, K through 12, posted on Facebook (got to love Facebook), that her and her husband Lance had purchased a new fridge and was looking to get rid of the old one, just come and get it. After a message or two, a visit (with Jenna and Jasper in tow, per request), and some measurements, the deal was sealed. Got the van rolling over to their house and a new fridge on its way. Of course, the measurements worked for where the fridge would be located in the kitchen, not necessarily if it got through the door. Of course a few bolts and screws and the doors come off the fridge...whew.
So now what to do with the other fridge...well, Facebook again. Pastor Jeremiah at our church posted that a couple-to-be needed a fridge. A phone call and a few measurements. The fridge was on its way to a new home. And that was dropped off this weekend.
See a fridge can be a blessing. God works in many ways, you just got to open your eyes.
Until next time, spring is almost here....drive safe!
So, how is a fridge a blessing? Simple. We needed one.
Now, it wasn't that the other fridge was bad...but its old, small and no longer matches the kitchen (wait...did I just say that?...JENNA...what have you done to me?!....kidding). Truth is light tan and white doesn't look good. I even know that...LOL. So, it works but an upgrade would be wonderful....especially since almost everything else has been updated in the last 6 months or so...just a sample list.
New hot water heater
Used water softener with new iron filter
New stand alone freezer
New furnace
New laundry room floor
New kitchen floor...well, top layers tore up and refinished hardwood floor underneath
Shelves installed in kitchen closet
Shelves installed in laundry room
Quarter trim installed (you know since I pulled it out when I refinished the house's hardwood floor when I moved in......7 years ago)
Painting
Oh yeah....and Jasper's new room too...that included closet door install and crib build.
Plus...
New used car
And seeming constant maintenance on Jenna's Compass...that whole Michigan winter versus Arizona summer (with a year in Oklahoma) has been a little bit of a shock to its system.
Ok...now back to the fridge. So Nicole, someone I went to Clarkston schools with, K through 12, posted on Facebook (got to love Facebook), that her and her husband Lance had purchased a new fridge and was looking to get rid of the old one, just come and get it. After a message or two, a visit (with Jenna and Jasper in tow, per request), and some measurements, the deal was sealed. Got the van rolling over to their house and a new fridge on its way. Of course, the measurements worked for where the fridge would be located in the kitchen, not necessarily if it got through the door. Of course a few bolts and screws and the doors come off the fridge...whew.
So now what to do with the other fridge...well, Facebook again. Pastor Jeremiah at our church posted that a couple-to-be needed a fridge. A phone call and a few measurements. The fridge was on its way to a new home. And that was dropped off this weekend.
See a fridge can be a blessing. God works in many ways, you just got to open your eyes.
Until next time, spring is almost here....drive safe!
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Why ESPN, Why?
A little background on the story.
Blake Koch is a NASCAR Nationwide series driver, (AAA league of NASCAR vs major league, for those unfamiliar). He is a passionate Christian. He got a sponsor from Rise Up and Register. The group is trying to get one million people to sign up and vote in 2012 who didn't in 2008. Seems like a good organization, doesn't it? Folks at ESPN say no...I say BS.
Commerical can be seen here.
http://www.sbnation.com/nascar/2012/3/29/2912340/espn-nascar-commercial-blake-koch-voting-2012
I agree with every word written...I don't see it. Why is this a political and faith issue?
http://www.frontstretch.com/mmclaughlin/38116/
Be safe, and keep it on the road.
God Bless
Blake Koch is a NASCAR Nationwide series driver, (AAA league of NASCAR vs major league, for those unfamiliar). He is a passionate Christian. He got a sponsor from Rise Up and Register. The group is trying to get one million people to sign up and vote in 2012 who didn't in 2008. Seems like a good organization, doesn't it? Folks at ESPN say no...I say BS.
Commerical can be seen here.
http://www.sbnation.com/nascar/2012/3/29/2912340/espn-nascar-commercial-blake-koch-voting-2012
I agree with every word written...I don't see it. Why is this a political and faith issue?
http://www.frontstretch.com/mmclaughlin/38116/
Be safe, and keep it on the road.
God Bless
Monday, April 9, 2012
Happy Easter, Jasper, racing plans and back to the grind
Today is the Monday after Easter. Happy Easter Monday. He is RISEN! So what has been happening the last three and a half weeks since the birth of Mr. Jasper.
Well first, Jasper is such a blessing. He is a great baby. He lets his parents sleep. Most of the time once he gets to bed (seems to think the day is noon to mindnight), he sleeps 3 hours...me and Jenna have to set alarms (yes plural) to wake up and make sure he is fed. He does what other babies do. Eat, sleep, poop, pee, hiccup, smile and cry. That is about it. Recently he seems to stare at me and Mom more and turn his head to our voices. He is very strong, he holds his head up most of the time, he kicks well and if he could figure out where to put his arm, he could roll over. Sometimes if he is in the right position he can kick both of his legs in the air at the same time. He like to roll onto his side and sleep on it...just like Daddy.
Today his Mommy is taking him to the doctors for a well visit. Our hope is weight gain, that seems to be his only hiccup. His weight has been on a little bit of a roller coaster since birth. Any prayers are helpful.
Jasper did attend his first church service yesterday. He slept through the whole thing (Even with the awesome rukin music). The River church had over 2000 people attend. We parked about as far as we could park and still be on the property!
Everyone says your life is so much different with a new child. My son is such a blessing, but to be honest...besides a little less sleep and changing a lot of diapers...me and my wife keep shaking our head and checking to see if he is really ours....LOL. Things are different but it just feels more right and in a good way. Not sure if I feel completely responsible for him yet, but that is growing. I have a family I call my own. He is the next generation. It is a pretty cool feeling. ....And of course he is the next racer for TF American Racing! (Anyone have a quarter midget for sale?)
A few have started asking, so I will be clear here. I probably will not be racing this year. I don't have any plans currently, and unless the winning lotto ticket flies into my pocket...I have no plans to rent or fix Old Glory currently. The house has gone through a big remodel in preparation for Jasper. That equals the financing to do the work (Even if I have done a majority of the work myself). Plus some other not so convinent things breaking (Furance and the daily driver has a nice rattle in the engine currently.). But do not feel sad for me. I had three wonderful years of racing, Old Glory is not for sale and slowly will be put it back together for racing at Waterford Hills...and Mid-Ohio...and some other places I would love to visit in the future, for the future. I will visit Waterford Hills reguarly and will be a fan with Jasper at my side. I still enjoy watching racing on TV and will make time to visit race weekends at Waterford Hills and maybe that street race on Belle Isle this June. The joy is still there...and well I don't have that golf thing figured out, nor do I enjoy mowing the lawn or kite flying...LOL. So racing is where it is at. Its where my heart is at and will continue to be.
Jenna and I have felt it is important for the growth of our son to have as much opportunity to be the best he can be. He is now the priority. So, Mom will stay home and schooling will be important in the future, even if it is not cheap. The priority of saving pennies to race really fast is not where it use to be in the order. I am very much happy with this. You see, God has a plan for me, my life is the best it could be, and trust me about two years ago, I thought it couldn't get better. (Think about it...two years ago, Old Glory was in the driveway, not yet painted, and maybe not even with glass in it. The Waterford Hills 2010 season wasn't yet here, and I couldn't wait. I was a single guy living a dream, with friends and family...and God was so good to me then). I could never imagine...now I am easily 100 times happier. Give it to God and he will give it to you 10 times over and over flowing.
This reminds me of a song from The Turning (willing to bet most of you have never heard of them).
Here are some of the lyrics:
Everything I held is out of my hands
Everything you bless is not what I’d planned
Not what I’d seen, not what I’d dreamed
Even if my dream was to drive a racecar...my life now, even not racing a car, is far beyond what I dreamed and far beyond my imagination of how good it can be. It is beyond good, beyond fair and far beyond what I deserve.
Today is also my first day back to work full time. I have work here and there for the last few weeks, but today is the start of the first full week in 4 weeks. Fun, fun.
Hope all is well in your worlds.
Be safe, keep it on the track, and don't be a stanger.
God Bless
Well first, Jasper is such a blessing. He is a great baby. He lets his parents sleep. Most of the time once he gets to bed (seems to think the day is noon to mindnight), he sleeps 3 hours...me and Jenna have to set alarms (yes plural) to wake up and make sure he is fed. He does what other babies do. Eat, sleep, poop, pee, hiccup, smile and cry. That is about it. Recently he seems to stare at me and Mom more and turn his head to our voices. He is very strong, he holds his head up most of the time, he kicks well and if he could figure out where to put his arm, he could roll over. Sometimes if he is in the right position he can kick both of his legs in the air at the same time. He like to roll onto his side and sleep on it...just like Daddy.
Today his Mommy is taking him to the doctors for a well visit. Our hope is weight gain, that seems to be his only hiccup. His weight has been on a little bit of a roller coaster since birth. Any prayers are helpful.
Jasper did attend his first church service yesterday. He slept through the whole thing (Even with the awesome rukin music). The River church had over 2000 people attend. We parked about as far as we could park and still be on the property!
Everyone says your life is so much different with a new child. My son is such a blessing, but to be honest...besides a little less sleep and changing a lot of diapers...me and my wife keep shaking our head and checking to see if he is really ours....LOL. Things are different but it just feels more right and in a good way. Not sure if I feel completely responsible for him yet, but that is growing. I have a family I call my own. He is the next generation. It is a pretty cool feeling. ....And of course he is the next racer for TF American Racing! (Anyone have a quarter midget for sale?)
A few have started asking, so I will be clear here. I probably will not be racing this year. I don't have any plans currently, and unless the winning lotto ticket flies into my pocket...I have no plans to rent or fix Old Glory currently. The house has gone through a big remodel in preparation for Jasper. That equals the financing to do the work (Even if I have done a majority of the work myself). Plus some other not so convinent things breaking (Furance and the daily driver has a nice rattle in the engine currently.). But do not feel sad for me. I had three wonderful years of racing, Old Glory is not for sale and slowly will be put it back together for racing at Waterford Hills...and Mid-Ohio...and some other places I would love to visit in the future, for the future. I will visit Waterford Hills reguarly and will be a fan with Jasper at my side. I still enjoy watching racing on TV and will make time to visit race weekends at Waterford Hills and maybe that street race on Belle Isle this June. The joy is still there...and well I don't have that golf thing figured out, nor do I enjoy mowing the lawn or kite flying...LOL. So racing is where it is at. Its where my heart is at and will continue to be.
Jenna and I have felt it is important for the growth of our son to have as much opportunity to be the best he can be. He is now the priority. So, Mom will stay home and schooling will be important in the future, even if it is not cheap. The priority of saving pennies to race really fast is not where it use to be in the order. I am very much happy with this. You see, God has a plan for me, my life is the best it could be, and trust me about two years ago, I thought it couldn't get better. (Think about it...two years ago, Old Glory was in the driveway, not yet painted, and maybe not even with glass in it. The Waterford Hills 2010 season wasn't yet here, and I couldn't wait. I was a single guy living a dream, with friends and family...and God was so good to me then). I could never imagine...now I am easily 100 times happier. Give it to God and he will give it to you 10 times over and over flowing.
This reminds me of a song from The Turning (willing to bet most of you have never heard of them).
Here are some of the lyrics:
Everything I held is out of my hands
Everything you bless is not what I’d planned
Not what I’d seen, not what I’d dreamed
Even if my dream was to drive a racecar...my life now, even not racing a car, is far beyond what I dreamed and far beyond my imagination of how good it can be. It is beyond good, beyond fair and far beyond what I deserve.
Today is also my first day back to work full time. I have work here and there for the last few weeks, but today is the start of the first full week in 4 weeks. Fun, fun.
Hope all is well in your worlds.
Be safe, keep it on the track, and don't be a stanger.
God Bless
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Introducing...
…the newest member of the Forst Family and newest driver of the TF American Racing Team.
Jasper Thomas Forst
Born March 15th at Royal Oak Beaumont at 7:50am
Weight - 7 lbs 5 oz.
Length - 20.5 inches
J.T. and Mom are doing great.
Waterford Hills Road Racing debut set for May 2028
24 Hours of Daytona debut set for January 2032
Sponsorship Opportunities are available! ;-)
Current focus industries - diapers, customized strollers (roll cage, 6 point harness with 20" rims), and baby clothing. LOL
Friday, March 9, 2012
Daytona and our favorite restaurants
So I watched the Daytona 500. I was in a hotel room on Monday night. It was an interesting race. Juan driver (I crack myself up sometimes) wrecked into a jet dryer and that caught fire. DW made Danica sound like she was the second coming of Richard Petty. He just needs to make his mouth shut. Danica didn't teach any NASCAR driver to keep their hands off the wheel. Come on DW. He needs to watch and listen to old ESPN and CBS races by Bob Jenkins, BP and Ned Jarrett. No bias, no selling up someone or something, just informing the fans what was going on. Even his brother is better...and that isn't saying much.
Congrats to the #17 team. The Roush power was ahead of everyone at Daytona. I am sure their experience with building engines in other series with EFI gave them an advantage. At least that is what I think.
I didn't watch the Phoenix race but the #11 team seemed to be the team to beat so far.
Anyway, it is funny how I sit here and can't think of anything to write. Work was a lot of focus lately, especially being out of town. Baby Boy's room / car seat / stroller / high chair is ready to go. Seriously we have had the pack n play with the infant bed on top next to our bed for over two weeks now I think. If you walked into our house you would think he was already here...minus a huge pile of laundry...LOL. Jenna has watched all his clothes too.
Jenna and I have been making dinners this week. She is such a great cook. We are trying to balance making dinners and heading to our favorite restrautants in the last few weeks and this weekend. Because we know we are not going to be going to them in the near future...LOL
Congrats to the #17 team. The Roush power was ahead of everyone at Daytona. I am sure their experience with building engines in other series with EFI gave them an advantage. At least that is what I think.
I didn't watch the Phoenix race but the #11 team seemed to be the team to beat so far.
Anyway, it is funny how I sit here and can't think of anything to write. Work was a lot of focus lately, especially being out of town. Baby Boy's room / car seat / stroller / high chair is ready to go. Seriously we have had the pack n play with the infant bed on top next to our bed for over two weeks now I think. If you walked into our house you would think he was already here...minus a huge pile of laundry...LOL. Jenna has watched all his clothes too.
Jenna and I have been making dinners this week. She is such a great cook. We are trying to balance making dinners and heading to our favorite restrautants in the last few weeks and this weekend. Because we know we are not going to be going to them in the near future...LOL
Keep your eyes on the road, stay safe and God Bless.
Until next time...
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Its almost time
Got to start them early :-)
I hope all is well in your world.
Less then two weeks away from arrival of Baby Boy Forst. I haven't been able to keep up with this much. But this blog may turn into a monthly update...LOL.
I have been away on business for 4 of the last 6 weeks. Not too much fun, especially for Jenna. But I am home now until he decides to join the world.
God Bless
Saturday, February 4, 2012
Birthday Ramblings...OR...Things I think while I can't sleep
So, here it is...my 30th birthday. And sleep is not coming easy at 1:30am in the morning...(shhh! must be the Mt. Dew I had before I got on the plane tonight).
So, I flew back from Peoria, IL tonight...Feb.3rd. Now its Feb. 4th..and I can't sleep.
I was in Peoria for business...top secret stuff (not really)...fun stuff...but trust me not the reason I am staying up. (And I stayed away from pop all week...it was so good though..LOL)
My lovely wife Jenna I think called my phone four times on the ride home to see if I was home yet...she missed me. :-)
It is kind of funny sitting here thinking about my life of 30 years. My first memories, which I talked with Jenna tonight about was sitting on a beach. I am quite sure I was with my parents at a sail boat club event which they use to be a part of. The next memory I remember is Christmas Day...not sure if I was two or three. But I remember it clearly. I remember running down the hall of my old house in Madison Heights...was there until before my 4th birthday. And turning the corner to see many presents...all wrap and in different boxes under the tree, a brightly decorated Christmas tree. But the thing that stuck out for me was the blown up Santa. I just remember it...I think it is still in my Father's attic somewhere.
Ah memories...LOL.
Most of what I think about now a days is the future. I turn 30 today. I was born at 8:38pm...so I am not there yet. But I wonder how good of a Father I will be? I wonder who is going to still be in my life in the future. And how many people have had such an effect on my life. I mean everyone who knows me has had an effect. But God does it in such a way that...I am just amazed by him. Its those people you don't expect.
The people who are just so positive. People who see in you the gifts God has given me. Amazing how people so close didn't see it but they do. They just say 'You have it kid, make the most of it, you have it in you'..and my favorite 'we are here to support you no matter what'. And they do, support you throught the thick and thin. and LOVE like Jesus does. Unconditional.
I love people, I really do. I think about so many people all the time. I wonder how they are, what they are doing. What do they believe in? How they think the way they do? How did they become who they are today? How little good things effected them in a great way? Or how a bad deck of cards made them so bitter...or make them live or be the way they are?
And I look back at my friends and family that did the above, loved, and just loved. Some are gone now...and I wish I asked more questions to them. Advice for me...but I think it is selfish sometimes. I have learn many lessons down the path and the journey called life. Probably would of felt cheated out if I didn't experience them first hand. My view I guess.
I think about the people who I am no longer in contact with anymore. Sometimes it was hard to separate..sometimes for their own good....
I pray those that I hurt and made enemies of can...learn to forgive. It is tough for me sometimes to move on knowing others were hurt by me...eats me up sometimes. But I know God's grace is beyond any imagine. He wants me to focus on the present, prepare for the future, balance the DO with the BE. Yet, don't ever forget where I came from. The only difference between them and me isn't perfection, or my faith or my opinion. It is simply His grace.
I want to love others unconditionally. My family is first. That shouldn't be confused when others think I don't love them...but they come first. Jenna #1, J.T. #2
I think about how I am going to mold J.T.'s future. EVERYTHING I do will effect him. Everything. I can't grasp it (Well and the whole "Dad" thing...Jenna likes to do "Do you feel like a Dad yet"...I just shake my head no...how can I, he will pop...what's that honey, you want me to use a different word?...escape out, soon or later ;-) ... and I am sure in that moment I will be fully aware of what I am responsible for...it will come quick). I really can't grasp, everything I do...my attitude, my facial expressions...and I swear what I am thinking in my head...he will know. "They" say that babies can start hearing and remembering your voice in the womb. I hope he didn't hear some four letter words...LOL. Or my frustrated voice. I hope he heard how I made his Mom laugh. How I hugged her (and then him) and said I missed and loved her. How I spoiled her just a little. How we read books to one in another (ok Jenna does most of it to me...even one night while I was painting) preparing for him.
But the pressure is still there in my mind. I want to stand like a stone brick wall before moving so I don't make a mistake when he is born. I want to work tirelessly to make sure he is the very best J.T. God wants him to be. It isn't what I want him to be. I mean, if he wants to play with trains, and trucks and cars and drive quarter midgets by five years old. I am ok and fine with that. But if he wants to be the best chef in the world or the best screenplay writer or the best pastor or best CEO or CFO. I want to support him and work tirelessly to make sure he has every opportunity to be that. To be what God intents him to be. But even more so. I want to block any sort of negative thought or doubt, I could place in him to go away. I want to push every chain that has drag me down...and break it. I don't want to continue the chain, the downward spin into nothingness. I want the best for him.
I know it all starts with me. I want him to see me as an example. I want him to see how I treat my wife with all the love I can possibly give. Treat her the right way. I want him to KNOW our love story. (I love hearing other couples love story). Not let anyone run over me. Tell me I can't, you shouldn't, why even try? I will not let them get to my son. I can't, I won't let the devil win. It isn't in me.
Ok, so enough ramblings...I hope it make sense to anyone reading this. And I love you, God loves you, Jesus loves you. Jesus saved me...but more I serve the LORD.
Be safe, keep it on the track and all my love!
So, I flew back from Peoria, IL tonight...Feb.3rd. Now its Feb. 4th..and I can't sleep.
I was in Peoria for business...top secret stuff (not really)...fun stuff...but trust me not the reason I am staying up. (And I stayed away from pop all week...it was so good though..LOL)
My lovely wife Jenna I think called my phone four times on the ride home to see if I was home yet...she missed me. :-)
It is kind of funny sitting here thinking about my life of 30 years. My first memories, which I talked with Jenna tonight about was sitting on a beach. I am quite sure I was with my parents at a sail boat club event which they use to be a part of. The next memory I remember is Christmas Day...not sure if I was two or three. But I remember it clearly. I remember running down the hall of my old house in Madison Heights...was there until before my 4th birthday. And turning the corner to see many presents...all wrap and in different boxes under the tree, a brightly decorated Christmas tree. But the thing that stuck out for me was the blown up Santa. I just remember it...I think it is still in my Father's attic somewhere.
Ah memories...LOL.
Most of what I think about now a days is the future. I turn 30 today. I was born at 8:38pm...so I am not there yet. But I wonder how good of a Father I will be? I wonder who is going to still be in my life in the future. And how many people have had such an effect on my life. I mean everyone who knows me has had an effect. But God does it in such a way that...I am just amazed by him. Its those people you don't expect.
The people who are just so positive. People who see in you the gifts God has given me. Amazing how people so close didn't see it but they do. They just say 'You have it kid, make the most of it, you have it in you'..and my favorite 'we are here to support you no matter what'. And they do, support you throught the thick and thin. and LOVE like Jesus does. Unconditional.
I love people, I really do. I think about so many people all the time. I wonder how they are, what they are doing. What do they believe in? How they think the way they do? How did they become who they are today? How little good things effected them in a great way? Or how a bad deck of cards made them so bitter...or make them live or be the way they are?
And I look back at my friends and family that did the above, loved, and just loved. Some are gone now...and I wish I asked more questions to them. Advice for me...but I think it is selfish sometimes. I have learn many lessons down the path and the journey called life. Probably would of felt cheated out if I didn't experience them first hand. My view I guess.
I think about the people who I am no longer in contact with anymore. Sometimes it was hard to separate..sometimes for their own good....
I pray those that I hurt and made enemies of can...learn to forgive. It is tough for me sometimes to move on knowing others were hurt by me...eats me up sometimes. But I know God's grace is beyond any imagine. He wants me to focus on the present, prepare for the future, balance the DO with the BE. Yet, don't ever forget where I came from. The only difference between them and me isn't perfection, or my faith or my opinion. It is simply His grace.
I want to love others unconditionally. My family is first. That shouldn't be confused when others think I don't love them...but they come first. Jenna #1, J.T. #2
I think about how I am going to mold J.T.'s future. EVERYTHING I do will effect him. Everything. I can't grasp it (Well and the whole "Dad" thing...Jenna likes to do "Do you feel like a Dad yet"...I just shake my head no...how can I, he will pop...what's that honey, you want me to use a different word?...escape out, soon or later ;-) ... and I am sure in that moment I will be fully aware of what I am responsible for...it will come quick). I really can't grasp, everything I do...my attitude, my facial expressions...and I swear what I am thinking in my head...he will know. "They" say that babies can start hearing and remembering your voice in the womb. I hope he didn't hear some four letter words...LOL. Or my frustrated voice. I hope he heard how I made his Mom laugh. How I hugged her (and then him) and said I missed and loved her. How I spoiled her just a little. How we read books to one in another (ok Jenna does most of it to me...even one night while I was painting) preparing for him.
But the pressure is still there in my mind. I want to stand like a stone brick wall before moving so I don't make a mistake when he is born. I want to work tirelessly to make sure he is the very best J.T. God wants him to be. It isn't what I want him to be. I mean, if he wants to play with trains, and trucks and cars and drive quarter midgets by five years old. I am ok and fine with that. But if he wants to be the best chef in the world or the best screenplay writer or the best pastor or best CEO or CFO. I want to support him and work tirelessly to make sure he has every opportunity to be that. To be what God intents him to be. But even more so. I want to block any sort of negative thought or doubt, I could place in him to go away. I want to push every chain that has drag me down...and break it. I don't want to continue the chain, the downward spin into nothingness. I want the best for him.
I know it all starts with me. I want him to see me as an example. I want him to see how I treat my wife with all the love I can possibly give. Treat her the right way. I want him to KNOW our love story. (I love hearing other couples love story). Not let anyone run over me. Tell me I can't, you shouldn't, why even try? I will not let them get to my son. I can't, I won't let the devil win. It isn't in me.
Ok, so enough ramblings...I hope it make sense to anyone reading this. And I love you, God loves you, Jesus loves you. Jesus saved me...but more I serve the LORD.
Be safe, keep it on the track and all my love!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
